I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
