How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My vagina is very pro this idea
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