the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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