I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Someone signed my nipple.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
