There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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