you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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