i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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