He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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