he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize