did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
