it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
