DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
