My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
did i walk over a car last night?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
