we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize