No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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