So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize