"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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