I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
