I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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