): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
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Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
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Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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