Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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