Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
