Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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