EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
