I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
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