In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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