I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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