We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
