You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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