This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Small penises have feelings too.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
