I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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