High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
