I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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