but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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