he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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