she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize