are you so shy because you have an std?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
