if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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