so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
FUCK WHALES
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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