dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
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I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
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You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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