Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
