I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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