i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
