I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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