dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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