Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
