I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think my fart just growled at me.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
