shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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