I can't watch pbs sober anymore
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize