Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
The adults are the big ones right?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
