And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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