Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
