"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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