he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize