so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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