..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
