we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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