We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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