Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Everything about him screamed your future.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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