well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
bring money and cleavage
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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