I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
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Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
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He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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