i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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