I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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