Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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