that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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