i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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