i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
