ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
