Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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